by Tanya Mathison, Certified Health Coach & Master Life Coach
What has helped me to heal? It’s been such an amazing journey and I feel so honored for the opportunity to share my heart and my story.
Depression was strong, anxiety was intense, suicidal thoughts plagued my mind with desires and attempts to take action.-Tanya Mathison
I was in this vicious cycle for 10 long years. I felt stuck. I felt trapped. I could see no light at the end of the tunnel. I was done hurting and just wanted to be done with everything. At this very dark time, feeling really awkward, I reached out and connected with Sommer Seitz, a mental health counselor in my area. The transition, the shifting in my thoughts, to create where I am today, all started in her office.
I connected with my son, who passed away, through deep and strong grief. Sommer asked me if there was something, as strong as grief, that I could use to connect with my son. I had nothing. I didn’t believe there was another way. She opened my eyes and explained to me that on the opposite side of grief is a strong place where I could connect with my son as well. However, the difference would be that there, I would be operating out of light, hope and peace.
Grief was all I knew. Grief was all I accepted and what I choose to live in to connect with my son. I couldn’t bear the thought of letting my grief go. I was so fearful to lose that connection with my son. I remember her asking me how I felt about my son, Caleb. I said, “I feel joy when I think of his sweet face and remember his kind voice.”
What happened next changed everything, the shift of thoughts in my mind, created a whole new perspective. After 10 long years, from seeing everything in black & white, I was given a gift with a new opportunity to see in color again.
Sommer explained to me that if I could connect with my son through grief so intensely, then I could also connect with him just as intensely on the opposite side, in joy.
I believed I could and I wanted to try with all my heart. When I left her office, for the first time I felt peace. As I drove home, for the first time I felt hope. When I arrived home, for the first I was ready & wanted to create more joy in my life.
Joy is how I choose to connect with my son Caleb. What a gift I was given to see life in color through the eyes of joy. This is my mission, my passion, to guide others to this gift today and see life in color through the eyes of joy. If it’s possible for me, it’s possible for anyone.
Tanya Mathison is a Certified Health Coach and a Master Life Coach. She is an advocate for Mental Health Awareness and Suicide Prevention. Tanya has a passion to share her story in raw moments and the reality of Mental Health. Her philosophy is, “Let’s bring compassion and share the hope.” https://fb.com/tanyamathisoncoach/