Do you ever wish you could clone yourself to help you with all you have to tackle? Maybe that is just me, but I often think, “there is just not enough of me to go around.” Or maybe its even worse “I am not even enough for myself” let alone all the good and worthy things I wish I could achieve. That is where Abundance comes in for me and saves me from meltdown. You all know what I am talking about. That “nobody appreciates me, nobody understands me, and I might as well give up” frame of mind. I affectionately call this the Try-hard give up cycle and I am not alone in suffering from it’s effect. Today we are going to talk about how to break the cycle and feel the sustained joy that comes from Abundance.
The most insidious part of the “Try-hard, give up cycle” is the belief that if I can just keep up my willpower, do a little better, be a bit more consistent then I will arrive at that place where all my problems are solved. Wrong! The bar just keeps moving farther away as there are new challenges to tackle, personal weaknesses to find, and you end up feeling defeated. The truth is we all are subject to weakness and burnout. I don’t care what magic pill or program you prescribe to, research shows that when we believe that the source of our power comes from our own efforts that well of effort will run dry overtime.
But I said this was about Abundance right, so stay with me. When you begin to own the fact that you really can’t do things alone, and that you need others, and its OK to need others, that is a game changer. Research shows that those that believe that their Abundance comes from a source outside of themselves, such as a higher power, or relationship can sustain their efforts for change. This is the essence of most 12 step programs for Addiction Recovery and practices such as Mindfulness. These practices acknowledge the need to be aware our limitations, accept them with loving kindness, and then seek power outside ourselves. This process is not complete, however, unless we act (yes, I said act) on the wisdom that comes to us in these observant moments.
My favorite analogy comes from the late Dr. Wayne Dyer. I once heard it on a podcast and it was life changing. He was comparing Abundance to a sea of water that we walk up to with a tiny cup and only dip in and take what we feel we have “earned.” Sound familiar. But the really is that the sea of Abundance is right there for you to jump in swim around and drink deeply. I often ponder that analogy in my dry, give up moments. I hope you choose to tune into the Abundance that is waiting for you to receive with gratitude and power up your sagging personal efforts. The beginning of true change is acceptance that we can’t do it alone, receiving that outside help, and then sharing our Abundance with others.
Favorite Abundance Practices of Mine:
- Write down all the things that you feel are pressing on your mind and time. Divide these items into two lists. One column for items you feel you can effectively tackle and the other column with items beyond your current capacity. Mindfully surrender the items beyond your capacity to your higher power, delegate to someone else in your life, or offer yourself patience that they won’t be attended to yet. (Watch some of the delegated items show up done in your life)
- Visualize success completing a task, navigating a difficult relationship, or receiving something you need. Keep visualizing this and revisiting it when fear and doubt threaten to distract you from it. Notice steps you discover in this process leading to your end goal and take one of those steps today.